The Tribe; Cooperation or Coercion

In Human-Kinds early history the Tribe was the group you were born into. You had a kinship with the Tribe through physical DNA as well as customs that included rules, traditions, myths and superstitions.

The Tribe survived, and therefore the individuals who were a part of it, based on the cooperation and sometimes coercion of its members. If you were expelled from the Tribe it frequently meant certain death.

The concept of survival and growth through cooperative efforts rather than coercion is an interesting one to me. Do we still need coercion to protect today's Tribe? And if we do, how do we balance the two?

Watch any parent in a public setting long enough and you will see 21st Century style cooperation and coercion in action. I don't see coercion going away any time soon. In some restaurants I have been in, 'experiencing' parents with their children I would have a big vote for coercion.

The challenge is that much of growth comes from cooperative efforts, so how do enhance those while minimizing coercion?

And it raises other questions:
How do we be a good cooperative member of our tribe and be independent as well?
When does the tribe perceive the line is crossed between independence and conformity to tribal rules and what will it do about it?
How does the tribe support growth and independence of its members?

Today we have the luxury of belonging to many, many tribes. There is our family tribe, our friend tribe(s), our work tribe, our hobby and special interest tribe(s), the tribes of each our kids, our religious/spiritual tribe, and now even Internet tribes spread far and wide!

The great thing about this is that we can get the support from one group that we don't feel we are getting from another. And if we have a falling out with one tribe there are others to take its place, if we make it so. In other words much is in our control. A falling out (or pushing out) does not mean death. It may be uncomfortable. It might even make us sad or angry, but it is not the death notice it was in ancient times.

And yet, we frequently live our lives as though it is. We worry so about what others think about us that we become inhibited, we hold back. Sometimes that is the right behavior but many times it is not. We have to consciously choose.

Have you ever wanted to tell a friend how important they are to you but decided against it?

Have you ever wanted to sincerely tell a co-worker what a great job they do but were afraid you would look like a 'brown-noser'?

Have you ever wanted to tell a parent that you love them but felt awkward?

Have you ever had the chance to call out an answer to a question but didn't because you thought, 'what if I'm wrong...' only to find out you were right?

We had a choice in each of those situations and our inhibitions coerced us into non-action. Talk about Coercion!!! We need to take back control from these coercive, inhibiting feelings.

So for today, when a situation presents itself, let's ask ourselves this question:

"How would I like to respond to this if my inhibitions stopped coercing me?"

And when we have that answer, let's make a conscious choice to act in spite of our inhibitions...and see what wonderful things happen.

Let me know how you feel about these ideas. I would love to hear your thoughts.